Satu hari bersama MAMA…

I just had a trip to Perak last week; it was actually a school trip with school teachers of SK Tunku Laksamana. Jalan-jalan walau tak jauh mana pun, best juga sebenarnya. Maklum saja la cuti asyik dok kat rumah ja, except keluar pekan Jitra cari barang-barang dapur and tengok Chik dekat hostel sana. Well, what a bored life. Tapi compare with the study at the garden of knowledge and virtue, this is the best. Dekat sini, rasanya dalam berapa bulan dekat rumah ni tak pernah lagi kot makan fast food segala bagai. Kalau dekat sana, weeked ja, kalau outing dengan mereka-mereka mesti ada menu fast food kalau dengan G, kena ada KFC, kalau dengan silat gang, mesti ada Domino, kalau dengan educationist pula tak kisah apa pun, sebab masing-masing tak kisah nak keluar duit lebih asal makan best, Pizza Hut, Secret Recipe, Chicken Rice Shop etc. back to the story about the trip. This was actually a trip organize by badan kebajikan guru, so maknanya trip dengan orang yang agak berusia la, lebih kurang 30 and above ( I guess so???). Sebab mama kesian pada beta yang tengah bercuti tapi tak jalan mana-mana, so dapat la juga jalan-jalan ke Perak.

The first destination was Bukit Larut. Konon-konon nak enjoy, mandi-mandi kat situ. Well bertolak dari sekolah lebih kurang 8.30 in the morning. Biasa la nak tunggu semua kumpul mana la boleh nak bertolak 7.30 on the dot. Dan berhenti rata-rata, dekat balai bomba Tunjang, dekta masjid ‘Ala, dekat traffic light dekat Tanah Merah and then straight away to RNR Gurun, for breakfast. Turun la aku bersama-sama mak cik-mak cik yang lain untuk breakfast, ada jumpa juga sekolah-sekolah lain, ada student from Tanjung Pauh, and sport school (Tengku Anum rasanya) and then a primary school from Kuala Nerang. Suka tengok that kid yang sangat excited sebab boleh jalan-jalan. Lebih kurang pukul 12 baru sampai dekat Bukit Larut. Bas pula tak mau masuk sampai dekat dengan main entrance dekat situ, terpaksa la masing-masing berjalan kaki and cikgu-cikgu yang lelaki kena la mengangkat luch ke tempat perkelahan. Kalau bagi orang muda remaja, nak jalan setakat 500, 600 meter naik bukit sikit tak ada la masalah, tapi bagi yang agak berusia,that was a problem. Sampai kat tempat tu, I was a bit shocked, dok bayang Bukit Larut ni gah sangat, at least better than Titi Hayun dekat Yan tu, tapi indah khabar dari rupa. Tempat dah la kecil, tab best pun. Tempat nak salin baju sangat la kecik, tak dak shower pun. Kan kalau lepas waterfall mesti la nak basuh-basuh badan, well nothing as good as I imagine, and the prayer room only can afford four people at a time.

Selesai sudah kewajipan kepada Khalid we went to a place where we wish, we can see some tulip, kalau tak silap dekat dengan perhutanan Perak kot. But I was so frustrated because that place was under construction. Sangat-sangat la frust sebab dari malam lagi dah dok terbayang nak ambik gambar dekat tengah-tengah bunga-bunga tulip yang banyak (ala-ala romantic gitu), tak pun boleh gak petik sekuntum bawa balik rumah. From there bas pun jalan la lagi, berhenti sekejap dekta Masjid sebab still ada yang belum solat. So, dalam perjalanan lebih daru dua marhalah jangan lupa, buat la jamak and qasar. Islam tu dah memudahkan kita. The next destination, tak ingat la pula apa nama tempat tu, tapi yang confirm, tempat jual and buat labu sayong. Sekali kali, imaginasi adalah lebih indah dari reality. Mati-mati ingat tempat tu some kind of a small factory where people make the labu sayong, tapi rupa-rupanya masuk dalam kampong saja, and that was some kind la perusahan kampong la, no such thing like the small factory. Tapi boleh la juga beli pasu tanak liat, and some miniature of the labu sayong for souvenirs. Hasrat hati nak tengok orang buat labu sayong pun musnah sama sekali, tanah liat pun tak nampak ini kan pula orang dok bentuk labu sayong. Dah banyak memborong, amboi la shopping sungguh cikgu-cikgu ni, dengan pasu la, labu sayong la, dengan periuk la.

Next station was Sungai Perak. I had cross over the Perak Bridge. Cantik la jugakan. Sampai kat situ boleh lagi nak shopping, ada hand craft and parang, pedang, sabit and golok. Of course la ada yang dok borong semua benda-benda tu, sebab they said it was cheap. Tak tau la, sebab memangtak pernah dok beli pun benda-benda macam tue. Snap gambar sikit-sikit sementara tunggu sapa-sapa yang gila shopping. Dah petang pun, dah penat juga. Masing-masing dah tak sabar nak move on to the next destination, it was on the way back.

Masa tu, ada la terimbau sikit-sikit kenangan mama zaman muda-muda dulu. Kata mama, jalan yang kami lalu tu, jalan lama yang dulu-dulu bas ekspres lalu before highway wujud. It’s was a bit scary kot, dengan pokok-pokok sawit. Kalau malam silap-silap tengok tingkap ada yang tegur. SERAM. Kami berhenti makan Mee udang dekat Kuala Sepetang, kata ketua rombongan meek at situ superb, ada udang besar-besar. Dah sampai kat kedai tu, masing-maing pun turun la dengan excitednya. Sebenarnya kedai tu, just kedai-kedai tepi jalan, tak dak la special mana pun, tapi yang tu tak kisah la kan asalkan sedap. Kami makan dekat Kedai mee udang Mak The. Memang best la kot. Dengan mee yang berasap, ada udang lapan ekor, yang boleh kata besar la juga. Ada dua jenis udang tau, udang laut and udang bela. Selalu yang jual kat market tu, udang bela ye, so kalau nak mee dengan udang bela harga dia Rm 6, kalau udang laut pula RM 10. Bukan selalu nak makan udang laut kan, pilih la mee dengan udang laut. Memang berbaloi la kot makan kat situ kalau nak banding makan dekat hotel sekali serve 50 ringgit and above tapi tak sedap mana pun, kat sini memang best. Dan dengan berakhirnya aktiviti terakhir itu maka berakhir la trip ni.

On the way balik singgah dekat RNR untuk tunaikan kewajipan maklum la kalau dah sampai rumah mana boleh nak buat jamak dah kan. So, settle kan dulu apa yang patut and then boleh la bertolak balik rumah. Bila jalan dengan orang tua-tua ni kita kena faham, masing-masing dah tak berapa nak tahan sangat nak kencing terpaksa la berhenti lagi dekat Gurun. Mengantuk la sangat dok tunggu. Dah singgah toilet tu boleh pula nak minum-minum kopi, dah malam la pak cik-pakcik tak boleh tidur satgi. Dengan segala banyak perhentian akhirnya sampai juga la beta kat rumah lebih kurang pukul 2 pagi. Dapat la beradu dengan enaknya, dah memang tak ingat nak mandi pun, mengantuk sangat-sangat.

Sehari suntuk berjalan kat Perak tu, tak ada la banyak tempat pun kami sempat visit. Thank to mama sebab dah bawa jalan-jalan. And I think this was the first time I had a trip only with mama. Next year dengar kata ada trip to Langkawi, harap sangat aku tengah cuti boleh ikut lagi.

Jatuh cinta lagi...

Willing to stay in front of the computers for hours because of it. I'm falling in love again with Prince Darien and of course if talking about him it's actually about the Moon princess, Princess Serena. I want to be a princess too. living in fantasy is cool. i want to be a super hero too. but maybe I can be a hero in my field. Who knows one day I'll be some one important in the education field. Is there any one who shares same interest in me. It is logically accepted if me a 23 years old young adult is still liking the show? Is there any people will laugh at me if i"m telling them that I'm sitting for hours in front of my lappy because I love to watch the Sailor Moon show.

I hope if there is a person will like me and want to be by my side he will accept me as I am. It is very hard to forget all of this stuff because it is something that form who am I. I don't know if one day I will hate the show but for now I am totally in love with this. Will sticking to this show will make me an immature person? I don't care if it does. Sailor Moon will always be my favorite TV program.

Ku Kehilangan ILHAM

Puas aku bertanya pada hati,
Kenapa aku tak mampu,
Meluahkan kata hati,
Menzahirkan bait indah,
Menuturkan kata puitis,
Mengarang patah gurindam,
Dan jawab hati,
Aku menanti ILHAM,
Aku mencari ILHAM,
Aku menunggu ILHAM,
Kini aku jelas,
Ku kehilangan ILHAM,
Ku keputusan ILHAM,
Ku kekeringan ILHAM,
Dan kini terpaksa,
Sendiri berjalan mencari,
ILHAMKU

It’s almost half of the holiday.

What make me feel terrify is that my holiday is almost to the end. Although I still have around one and a half month but thinking about the schedule of the subject make me feel bad. There is still one subject need to be added in the schedule and it is still clashing with the method subject and writing subject. But being at home for this past one and half month make me feel super duper happy =D. it has been 4 years I never had a long holiday like this one. Thank to the government for this long holiday. I hope it is enough to regain back all the fighting spirit for this becoming semester. This will be the last semester for me to study like others. What do I feel actually? Sometime it feel that I am very excited to graduate from the university but when thinking about the scary carrier path make me feel that I rather study until the end.

Rasa macam nak cuti macam ni sampai hujung tahun ni. Desperate sangat nak cuti ni, sebab bila cuti there are things that I can do without any worries. Dekat rumah tak ada benda nak di risaukan, semua dah ada. Memang dekat rumah tak ada pun financial source but no need to worry because everything is provided. Dekat rumah TV dah ada, internet ada, makan confirm cukup, rehat sangat banyak, Cuma tak boleh nak social macam kat sana. But who care as long as you feel happy and comfortable. So, some minor issues can be tolerating. Maybe for some person they really need the financial source to afford their needs but for me when I am with my family and me staying at my so call HOME (baiti jannati bak kata bebudak SMKAS) there’s no other things I want. But of course it is not a reality because now days without money you cannot be happy; you cannot stop of worrying about your empty wallet. The one who worries about money at my home is just MAMA and PAPA (so cruel of me). For now I really want to leave in a very peace of mind and not worry about anything.

This long holiday is a time to catch up with all the things I had left behind. This is the time nak jadi close back with all the sibling sebab dah lama sangat tinggal rumah, since 13 years old. Nak manjakan adik-adik,boleh juga manja-manja dengan papa, nak manja dengan mama, nak juga merasa jadi anak manja, nak juga merasa keluar shopping dengan mama and bila nak apa benda pun akan dapat. Kalau dulu-dulu keluar dengan adik-adik memang kesian nak minta macam-macam tapi sekarang, kadang-kadang jadi heartless ja (sangat-sangat kejam ni). Confirm lepas ni mama rindu, papa pun rindu juga sebab dah tak dak orang nak berebut tengok TV, dah tak dak juga orang nak tolong picit kaki. Mama pula every Friday and Saturday dah tak dapat nak cari driver bila nak melawat Cik. Abang pula mesti rindu juga dekat kak long dia ni, (perasan la pula) sebab dah tak dak orang nak gaduh dengan dia, tak dak sapa nak tolong bancuh milo. The one who will be very sick of the life when the holiday is over is ME. Sebab dah tak boleh nak rehat banyak-banyak, tak boleh nak manja-manja, tak boleh nak relak, tak boleh nak makan sedap-sedap. Thinking of that make me feel upset, I don’t what will happen when this long holiday totally over. Boleh ke kalau nak apply cuti tambahan, Mr Dean?

Although there were not many activities I had done with my whole family but still it will remain as sweet memories, who know after this I will never have time like this. Seriously for me the quality is more essential than the quantity. Kalau spend time together pun but there are no communication and no happiness and intimacy so it is useless. For me family is everything and I think this is why I am the kind that prefers to stay at home rather than to spend it somewhere else. Tak tahu kalau orang lain memang jenis yang tak boleh nak duduk kat rumah don’t they feel that they are losing the precious time to spend with their family. Kalau aku di beri pilihan memang la nak stay kat rumah, tapi aku keluar rumah untuk cari ilmu, untuk family juga, semua ni untuk family, especially for the one who has been brought me up, MAMA and PAPA. Aku harap ada keredhaan dalam perjalanan aku yang panjang. Semoga aku sentiasa di berkati olehNYA. I hope one day, there will be a bright smile from MAMA and PAPA as a prove that I am success in my journey.

I’m coping with the reality…

Tajuk entry memang tak boleh blah sungguh la. Kenapa? Why? Limaza? Well ni semua sebab satu kisah lama yang aku tiba-tiba bangkitkan dalam fikiran aku. I think it should be a history by now, but suddenly I feel that this not right so aku bangkitkan balik kenangan zaman muda-muda dulu yang sebenarnya hanyalah get my heart hurt at the serious stage. Sadis pula dengar ni. Tu la tak dak pasai nak cari pasai. Well konon-konon your are matured enough la tu. But now I know, it is not easy to heal your heart ( tapi betul ke I hurt you?). Cakap pasal hati dan perasaan la pula. Rupanya benda pasal hati dan perasaan ni bukan senang nak di rungkaikan, bukan senang nak di baca, bukan senang nak di telah. Walau macam mana pun sebagai seorang young adult aku kena terima, sebab aku dah janji dalam diri walau apa pun jadi aku kena accept it as it is. Dengan ini saya dah terima kenyataan bahawa antara kita memang tak akan ada apa-apa dah pun. Aku doakan hang akan sentiasa bahagia di kejauhan dengan seikhlas hati aku.

Buat dia yang aku pernah sakiti (masih juga aku fikir sapa yang lebih sakit),

Don’t get me wrong, bukan aku nak cakap apa pun, Cuma nak cakap aku memang betul-betul (sincerely) lupakan apa yang dah jadi antara kita tu. Kalau aku pernah emo dulu, memang la tak dak sapa yang tak emo or being sensitive when you said something like that. Aku bukan lagi WANI yang dulu. Banyak dah berubah walaupun sebenarnya masih ada yang tak pernah berubah tentang diri aku tapi aku rasa 50% of me has change for good. Dengan hidup hang sekarang I surely know you will never get back to me, but all the memories remain. Sorry sebab tak jadi kawan yang understanding buat hang, sorry sebab aku tak menjadi one of your supporters for this time being, sorry sebab aku adalah seorang yang terlalu sensitive. I never forget about our friendship (actually never) walaupun aku ada juga kawan-kawan yang baik dengan aku. Sesungguhnya bila aku dah jadi kawan dengan seseorang aku akan jadi kawan dengan dia selama-lamanya tu pun kalau dia sudi la. Dan akau rasa elok juga aku akhiri dengan warkah aku ni dengan kata MAAF yang sesungguhnya ikhlas dari hati, kerana aku ingin sebenarnya segalanya kembali seperti biasa, walau sukar aku tetap menanti. For you my dear friend harap-harap sentiasa berjaya dan berbahagia bersama dengan insane tersayang.

Apakah yang aku merepek malam-malam lewat macam ni. Well ni sebenarnya hasilnya bila baca surat-surat lama waktu sekolah dulu (I’m so traditional la). Bukan apa waktu tu, dia jauh, maklum la budak-budak tak dak duit nak top up and call, dia pula susah nak pi cc so, surat la penghubung kami. I miss that moment really much. Harap-harap dia baca, tapi tak kisah pun la, yang penting hati aku dah bersedia lepaskan semua kenangan kami ni walau pun dia never get back to me. (0118 am)

Who is your hero?

Back then when I was about eight or maybe ten, I had a dream to be one of the SAILOR MOONS. One of the reasons was that they had a very cute dress or the uniform the one they wore when they had the fight with the evil one .a Part from that they were also beautiful. I really want to be like them and really adore them. I can still remember that sailor moon series was aired at 9 on Sunday morning. I rarely can watch it because I had school to attend, but if I had some reason for not going to school I will never miss. During the school holiday this was one of the program that I will never miss except for some reason for example if I was going back to my hometown or perhaps we were having our breakfast at the stall. With the colorful dress and maybe I think they were also cute and of course I liked the only hero in the story (the man who was wearing the black tuxedo with the mask) I thought that he was really handsome. I want to have someone like him too in my life. This series had a very big impact on me when I was a child.

With the change of time, I begin to like CARDCAPYOR SAKURA. I really like the cute and adorable Sakura, Syaoran Li and Sakura card guardian, Yukito (whom Sakura had a crushed on him). I think I watched this on the Saturday morning at NTV7. Of course the characters make me like it more. Now I kept to myself the collection of Sakura and Syaoran picture in my laptop and not to forget Yukito with his white wings just to remember my childhood. Being a child was so much fun.

Now, today, as a 23 years old young lady, I still like SAILOR MOON AND SAKURA so much. Now, NTV7 has show back the SAILOR MOON series, but it was not the one I had watched during my childhood, however I still sit in front the TV and really excited to watch it. One of my aims now is to buy the SAILOR MOON series.

There are many reasons for me to keep liking this cartoon series. It is not an ordinary series because it contains a lot of my memories in it, whether it was the bad one and also the good one. When I was a child I like the series because it was cute and now I really want to one of the sailor moons. I want to be a hero. That sound really absurd but that is my dream to be a hero. I will always imagine myself doing something that might help people everywhere ad anywhere I go. As possible as I can, I want to protect people from any harm especially my love one. I think that is a noble dream. Furthermore, the SAILOR MOONS, has giving me a very good impression of the relationship between friends. They had a good relationship with each other and of course they were willing to help each other in whatever situation happen. While in the real world, is there anyone can be like that, to sacrifice their life for their friends and also their enemy. Of course there were also some sense of romance in the series between the sailor moon and the Mamoro (tuxedo mask). Everyone likes to live life which full of love and everyone is also trying to find the true love. All of the theme that were portray in the series was just the one that is relate with our reality except for the person who can change to be a beautiful warrior to protect the earth. For me, the sailor moon (Usagi) has everything people wants in their life. I really want that too. That is why I never dislike SAILOR MOON.

(credit for picture: shiningmoon.com.pl)

The holiday is over (only for them)!!!!!

The school holiday was over for the past one week, adik just went back to IPOH for her class. Chik went back to his school (though it’s not that far from the house but still he’s not home). Abang is starting his school too. Mama and papa are back to the same schedule as a busy teacher and it left me alone at home. For me, the holiday has just started. There will be about 3 month for me to enjoy myself at HOME.

I thought that I will never have this kind of long holiday during the time I study at the university, luckily a year before my graduation; I have the change to have a very long holiday. I just got home a fort nigh ago, and had spend a very wonderful days at my sweet home with my lovely sister and brothers. We did not had and spend much time on special occasion or activities like others had done during their holiday, but still I enjoy being with them. I have been a very long time (I guess) for me to gather with my sibling like this. Even watching movies together can be fun activities. Waiting in front of the laptop just to watch the Korean series with them make me feel happy because I can share my interest with them. It was kind of funny that we have been watching the Korean series that I thought that they will never like.

Mama said that I had influenced them to be just like me. Well cannot help myself to fall in love with all the Korean series, because they had the cute and smart guy in the stories. And of course it just not the same with our Malay series. Even though the theme of the story is just the same which is LOVE but still the way of the presentation and story line is not the same and it is not the same compare with other series and plus the view is beautiful (cause in my dream I am dreaming of staying at the place like had been portrait in the series and really want to touch the snow with my hands and the beautiful flowers).

I had been a secretary for my little brother (Chik and Abang) doing their home work. I had done with the assignment (the family history) for Chik, that I had done it ten years ago. But children nowadays are very lucky because they have all the technology to help them with their work. For example the computer and of course the internet the most referred source for the assignment (including me=)), they did not need to go to the library anymore to get a little information for their assignment. I had thought about something, I guess that the school systems had never change since I had left the school for about 5 years ago because my 13 years old brother is still doing the same assignment as I am doing ten years ago. This is something need to be ponder, maybe I can change it when I am the minister of education (huhuhu when will the time come??). The unexpected thing was that I am had helped with the art homework. Shall I praise myself for doing the art work? I never did my art work unless it was a classroom work and now I doing it for my little brother.

What else I can do to fill up my schedule as a very free person for now. I have a plan to improve my English but I am just too lazy to start with the plan. It’s holiday of course and I should not think anything about my study isn’t it? Next semester will be my last semester to really study and the last semester is my real battle to face with the reality of the career. Not sure if I can be ready by that time. Enough for now, if I keep babbling about what will happen in the future I will never reach an end. I hope that my life will be getting better and better day by day. For my adik, abang and chik selamat belajar. Belajaq rajin-rajin!!!!!