What make me feel terrify is that my holiday is almost to the end. Although I still have around one and a half month but thinking about the schedule of the subject make me feel bad. There is still one subject need to be added in the schedule and it is still clashing with the method subject and writing subject. But being at home for this past one and half month make me feel super duper happy =D. it has been 4 years I never had a long holiday like this one. Thank to the government for this long holiday. I hope it is enough to regain back all the fighting spirit for this becoming semester. This will be the last semester for me to study like others. What do I feel actually? Sometime it feel that I am very excited to graduate from the university but when thinking about the scary carrier path make me feel that I rather study until the end.
Rasa macam nak cuti macam ni sampai hujung tahun ni. Desperate sangat nak cuti ni, sebab bila cuti there are things that I can do without any worries. Dekat rumah tak ada benda nak di risaukan, semua dah ada. Memang dekat rumah tak ada pun financial source but no need to worry because everything is provided. Dekat rumah TV dah ada, internet ada, makan confirm cukup, rehat sangat banyak, Cuma tak boleh nak social macam kat sana. But who care as long as you feel happy and comfortable. So, some minor issues can be tolerating. Maybe for some person they really need the financial source to afford their needs but for me when I am with my family and me staying at my so call HOME (baiti jannati bak kata bebudak SMKAS) there’s no other things I want. But of course it is not a reality because now days without money you cannot be happy; you cannot stop of worrying about your empty wallet. The one who worries about money at my home is just MAMA and PAPA (so cruel of me). For now I really want to leave in a very peace of mind and not worry about anything.
This long holiday is a time to catch up with all the things I had left behind. This is the time nak jadi close back with all the sibling sebab dah lama sangat tinggal rumah, since 13 years old. Nak manjakan adik-adik,boleh juga manja-manja dengan papa, nak manja dengan mama, nak juga merasa jadi anak manja, nak juga merasa keluar shopping dengan mama and bila nak apa benda pun akan dapat. Kalau dulu-dulu keluar dengan adik-adik memang kesian nak minta macam-macam tapi sekarang, kadang-kadang jadi heartless ja (sangat-sangat kejam ni). Confirm lepas ni mama rindu, papa pun rindu juga sebab dah tak dak orang nak berebut tengok TV, dah tak dak juga orang nak tolong picit kaki. Mama pula every Friday and Saturday dah tak dapat nak cari driver bila nak melawat Cik. Abang pula mesti rindu juga dekat kak long dia ni, (perasan la pula) sebab dah tak dak orang nak gaduh dengan dia, tak dak sapa nak tolong bancuh milo. The one who will be very sick of the life when the holiday is over is ME. Sebab dah tak boleh nak rehat banyak-banyak, tak boleh nak manja-manja, tak boleh nak relak, tak boleh nak makan sedap-sedap. Thinking of that make me feel upset, I don’t what will happen when this long holiday totally over. Boleh ke kalau nak apply cuti tambahan, Mr Dean?
Although there were not many activities I had done with my whole family but still it will remain as sweet memories, who know after this I will never have time like this. Seriously for me the quality is more essential than the quantity. Kalau spend time together pun but there are no communication and no happiness and intimacy so it is useless. For me family is everything and I think this is why I am the kind that prefers to stay at home rather than to spend it somewhere else. Tak tahu kalau orang lain memang jenis yang tak boleh nak duduk kat rumah don’t they feel that they are losing the precious time to spend with their family. Kalau aku di beri pilihan memang la nak stay kat rumah, tapi aku keluar rumah untuk cari ilmu, untuk family juga, semua ni untuk family, especially for the one who has been brought me up, MAMA and PAPA. Aku harap ada keredhaan dalam perjalanan aku yang panjang. Semoga aku sentiasa di berkati olehNYA. I hope one day, there will be a bright smile from MAMA and PAPA as a prove that I am success in my journey.
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