Dreaming of ME

He's out there somewhere,

 Waiting for me just like I'm waiting for him,

  Feeling the same things I'm feeling right now,

   Thinking there may never be an end to the lonely,

    The longing,

     The void that grows with each passing minutes,

      He's out there,

       Somewhere,

        Dreaming of me.

Miriam Perez

On relationship: A book for teenagers

The reminiscing of time!

When I first came to Gombak, I thought I would be alone for all of the time. I came in with no clear vision and mission. I entered this campus as a Human science student. I don’t even know how my life would be. I don’t know what will be my major for this course, but I’m thinking of psychology but in the end, I got this TESL course. If is it before this, I think that I can be a good teacher, turning into final year student, I don’t know if I can carry the responsible well. 

I got here, with my mother, father, who helped me to bring all of my stuff. The journey seemed so long from Jitra to Gombak, but we arrived at 6.30 in the morning. With all the bags and things, we managed to get a cab and went straight to Gombak. I was amused with the compound and environment and I think it will be very hard for me to adapt with the environment. It seems like the hostel and the kuliyah building was very far, but now, it is almost four years, I’m staying here, it seems that I can  reach the kuliyah department in only 5 minutes, in condition if I walk fast without stopping to greet my friends on the way to the class. But thanks to mama and papa, who gave me the motorcycle, I can reach the kuliyah building in only 3 minutes. 

I enjoy my time being a student, there are a lot of memories here and I realize this is the most unforgettable time or phase in my life. Some people might have a very great moment during their school time, but not for me. Here, at this university, I learn to love, learn to make friends, learn to be independent, learn to be alone, and learn to be who I am today. I had lost my purse in the monorail, lost my motorcycle, helmet, involved in an accident, and so many things that I never thought before. It left some marks in my heart, in my life, taught me to be stronger, dependant, patient, diligent and as many things that I never felt I will be. 

At this garden of knowledge and virtues, I meet many types of people, the one who are true friends, the secret enemy, the one who lost herself, the one with broken heart, the one with warm personality, it had exposed me to many people I never met before. If I am still Wani who is living with mama and papa at my sweet home, I never know that world is not only a sweet place to be but also a cruel place to be. I have learned so much about life, and now it almost to the end of my journey here at IIUM. I know that I’ll be missing this place, which have been teaching me with so many things and have been introducing me to many thought, people, situation and feeling. Thank to MAMA and PAPA who are always being such great support to me, without them, I can never be who I am today.

Speak the truth even if it hurts you…

Last Tuesday, I had learned about trustworthiness. What is trustworthiness? Trustworthiness is reliable, something that we can rely on to be good, honest, sincere etc (oxford advance learner’s dictionary). There are actually a lot of behaviors or attitudes that make you a trustworthy person. As a student, doing homework, wearing the proper school uniform, do not cheated in the examination are the characteristics of the trustworthy person. 

Have you ever face a situation that put you into some dilemma, whether to tell the truth or not? As human being we’ll never escape from facing this moment. Sometimes it is hard to speak out the truth, sometimes it might hurt when we say the truth, sometimes the truth may ruin everything. To be trustworthy is not easy. 

In a situation, we might not want to be truthful, especially when we know the truthfulness will make people sad, will make people unhappy, will make people sick, will make people cry, but cover the truth is also a bad thing to do. Some people say it is “tipu sunat”, but is there that kind of “tipu sunat”. Sure do, there is no such thing as “tipu sunat”. Islam does not permit the ummat to lie or hide the truth even if it a bitter reality.  

A part from the bitterness, one day there will be the sweetness behind all of the truth. We might not notice it now, or as soon as we want it but doing a good thing, we surely will be reward by HIM. Even if there is no reward, we need to the good things, it will make sure that we may live peacefully and harmony. Trustworthiness is not something that can be easily obtained without any effort, it needs to be implant since we were young, but it is not too late to try to train our self to be someone who is trustworthy. Start from now, a trustworthy person, will be loved by everyone.

DIA sentiasa bersamaku

KETIKA KITA MENGELUH

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Ah tak mungkin ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab : “ Jika AKU menghendaki, cukup Ku berkata “Jadi”, maka jadilah " (QS 36 : 82).

... ... ... ~Ketika kita mengeluh : “aku penat sangat ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab : “ ... dan KAMI jadikan tidurmu untuk istirahat " (QS 78 : 9).

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Beratnya , x sanggup aku ... ”.
اَللّه menjawab : “ AKU tidak membebani seseorang, melainkan sesuai kesanggupan ” (QS 2 : 286).

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Stressss nih ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab : “ Hanya dengan mengingatku hati akan menjadi tenang ” (QS 13 : 28).

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Yaaaahh ... ini semua sia-sia ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab : ” Siapa yang mengerjakan kebaikan sebesar biji dzarah sekalipun, niscaya ia akan melihat balasannya ” (QS 99 : 7).

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ tak sorang pun nak tolong aku ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab: “ Berdoalah (mintalah) kepadaKU, niscaya Aku kabulkan untukmu ” (QS 40 : 60).

~Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Duh ... aku sedih sangat ni ... ”.
اَللّهُ menjawab : “ La Tahzan, Innallaha Ma’ana. Janganlah kamu berduka cita, sesungguhnya Allah beserta kita " (QS 9 : 40).

special thanks: Nik Khadijah (from status FB)

Setengah hari bersama mereka

Siapakah mereka itu? Sebab terasa aku bakal menghadapi hujung minggu yang panjang jadi aku cuba nak isi salah satu hari minggu yang panjang itu. Thank to Ian, aku dapat join this program. It’s good to be with them. Mereka ialah adik-adik di rumah NUR HIKMAH. It’s a trip to an orphanage house at Kajang. Aku tak tahu kenapa tapi aku sangat suka melawat rumah-rumah macam ni. Orphanage house, old folk house, apa saja rumah atau institusi yang buat kebajikan atau yang menjaga golongan yang kurang bernasib baik. Dari sini, kit adapt bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Rasanya sepanjang aku jadi education students ni aku dah banyak di dedahkan dengan social work dan aku rasa juga the awareness has arose, time by time. I think I already have some vision in the future, pertaining to this social work. 

Back to the story about adik-adik at NUR HIKMAH house. Kat sana adik-adik ni duduk dekat situ mungkin dari golongan yang tak bernasib baik, ada yang dah tak ada mak, ada yang tak ada ayah, ada yang tak ada dua-dua. Tapi duduk kat rumah tu, adik-adik ni di didik dengan disiplin dan agama yang cukup. And I guess they also can enjoy their life as kids. Dekat rumah ni jugak, it only has children. I think the oldest is 12 years old. Bila aku sampai kat rumah tu, dah nampak banyak kid yang tengah main-main kat situ. Dan misi kami hari tu ialah, entertain this kids and also cook bubur asyura with the mak cik at the house. It sounds fun. Right, I enjoy the moment until the end. 

Firstly bila sampai kat sana, still rasa awkward sebab tak tahu nak buat apa, well after a while, the divided us into group, those who’ll do the cook and those who’ll play and have fun with the kids. It’s not that I want to avoid doing all those stuff for cooking but my main mission when I registered for this trip was that I want to play and be close with the kids.  I thought it would be very hard to be with them but actually it’s not. Just asked their name and some questions that might interest them, they will be talking and playing with you. Dan aku rasa sentuhan adalah satu cara nak buat kita cepat dekat dengan someone. Hold their hands, kiss them, hug them, they’ll be happy. I did that and yes they easily open up to me. Dan after berapa lama, tak main nenek si bongkok tiga, that Saturday, I played it with them. 

They has been educating in an Islamic ways, Alhamdulillah. Around eleven, they need to do the duha prayer, at that moment, aku pun tolong la mereka-mereka yang tengah masak. Nak buat kerja ala-ala master chef memang tak la. Tapi actually Berjaya juga mempercepatkan kerja memotong pineapple for masak lemak cili api dengan ikan talang. Tolong potong-potong ubi and some stuff for bubur  asyura and then back to play with the kids. Terubat rindu nak main-main dengan budak-budak. Terubat juga rindu dekat adik-adik kat rumah. When it’s time to lunch I had lunch to them, I’m so happy to see them eat and talk happily. 

Before balik, sempat kemas-kemas sikit-sikit, sempat juga main-main dengan adik-adik yang aku nampak tak pernah penat. Maybe they are kids, so memang budak-budak  jarang-jarang nak penat. They kept smiling and laughing, it seems that they never have any problems with them. But who knows what is actually in their heart. Before balik sempat peluk-peluk with the kids. I hope they will always smile and be happy with their life. 

Aku tak tahu apa yang bergolak di hati mereka, aku tak mampu baca setiap sinar di mata mereka, tapi aku rasa sangat bersyukur sebab aku masih lagi punya keluarga  yang menyayangi aku. Aku tak tahu apa yang mereka rasa aku juga tak mampu untuk meneka apa yang mereka mampu, tapi aku tahu pasti disudut hati mereka, mereka inginkan belaian dan kasih sayang seperti mana yang insan lain ada rasa. Kita sebagai insane yang punya ayah dan ibu harus bersyukur, kerana kita masih lagi mampu merasa kasih sayang dan belaian itu.

Some pictures with them....

them with the kakak-kakak

me and him

the funny abang-abang...

makan-makan

lunch time!!

Arif the baby

Kehilangan itu pasti.

Al-Fatihah, buat Kak Zuraini Lokman. Pemergian yang mengejutkan ramai. Semoga Abang Wan Zul tabah dan kuat demi Irsyad. Mendoakan yang terbaik untuk arwah. Buat mereka yang merasai kehilangan itu, semoga sentiasa bersabar dan reda dengan pemergian ini. Sudah sampai untuk dia pergi dulu sebelum kita, sesungguhnya Allah lebih sayangkan dia. Kita yang tinggal harus meneruskan hidup, menjadi lebih kuat, menjadi lebih tabah, sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan buat dia. 

Harap urusan pengebumian selesai tanpa halangan dan rintangan. Sesungguhnya melihat sebuah kematian itu mengingatkan kita pada ajal. Maka kita seharusnya mengingati mati kerana kita tak tahu bila pula ajal kita akan tiba. Usia itu hanyalah angka, tak kisah tua atau muda, andai tiba saat dan ketikanya, pasti akan di panggil olehnya. Sentiasalah memohon keampunan dariNYA. 

Sedih, walau aku bukan kenalan rapat arwah, tapi kerana ikatan ukhwah yang terjalin, aku terasa kehilangan itu. Melihat si kecil yang baru saja mencecah usia 2 bulan, aku jadi sebak, dia tak akan mungkin mengenali ibunya. Aku harap dia membesar menjadi anak yang soleh. Aku intai wajah kusut Abang Wan Zul, siapa lagi yang mampu tersenyum saat mengangkat jenazah isteri sendiri, terlalu sebentar hidup arwah bersama dengannya. Aku melihat mata seorang ibu yang kehilangan anaknya, biar reda, namun masih mampu aku lihat kesedihan itu. Ada air mata galak ingin menitis melihat setiap wajah murung ahli keluarga arwah, namun apakah air mata itu dapat memberi kekuatan buat mereka. Dan seharusnya kita yang perlu memberi semangat dan kekuatan buat mereka. Hanya doa yang mampu aku iringkan buat dia yang telah pergi. 

Ya Allah, Semoga K.Zu di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Semoga di ampunkan segala dosa-dosanya. Tenanglah dia di sana. Amin. 

Kerana kehilangan itu pasti maka kita perlu sentiasa bersedia. Maka kita seharusnya menjadi kuat, walau tak mudah, walau tak  senang, namun hanya itu yang kita mampu saat kita hadapi kehilangan itu.

dari laman web PSSCM
http://www.silatcekak.org.my/index.php/informasi/terkini/209-tenaga-pengajar-silat-cekak-meninggal.html

 

Hoping for the miracles!

I hate sad news but who likes it??? Even though that thing does not happen to me or to my besties, but as a human being, who had been created with heart and soul, I’ll feel the sadness and sorrow. I’ll always want to put myself in their shoes. I felt sorry for them.  Of course all of the trial comes from Him, so he who knows the best. For those who have been tested by Him, really pray for your strength and patience. For those who are patience and tough, there are always rewards from HIM. The trial did not come for anything. Always think of the positive side. Although sometimes, it seem really hard to be accepted but as HIS slave, we need to accept as it is and do not blame the faith of choosing who to be tried. There always be someone by your side when you are in need of one. 

Aku berdoa sekadar aku termampu, semoga mereka di berikan ketabahan dan kekuatan menghadapi segala ujian ini. Kita tak pernah menduga bagaimana kita bakal di uji, tapi apabila kita di uji haruslah kita terima dengan reda, dan yakin kita sememangnya mampu mengharungi apa saja ujian yang telah di berikan pada kita. Aku ingin berada bersama mereka memberi dorongan dan sokongan supaya mereka tahu masih ada sinar yang menanti di hujung sana, walaupun terkadang, lorong itu terlalu gelap untuk di lalui. Walau kadang terpaksa, kita lalui segala keperitan dan kepahitan untuk sampai di lorong kebahagiaan, kita perlu kuat dan menerima setiap keperitan dan kepahitan itu dengan tabah. 

Wahai sekalian orang-orang yang beriman! Mintalah pertolongan (untuk menghadapi susah payah dalam menyempurnakan sesuatu perintah Tuhan) dengan bersabar dan dengan (mengerjakan) solat; kerana sesungguhnya Allah menyertai (menolong) orang-orang yang sabar. (2:153)

I am in the sad and gloomy mode tonight. Although, I am not that close with them but the ukhwah make me feel that I want to be part of them who will help them to lessen their burden. i always want them to know that they are not alone. There will be always someone who will stand by their side when it is hard for them to stand and there will always someone by their side when they are tired with all of the trial. All I can do now is the prayer hoping for the miracle that only HE may gives to us.