Friday, November 12, 2010

Kegembiraan untuk mama...

Jelas dari nada suara mama di balik telefon melamnagkan dia gembira. Puas dengan apa yang telah adik/chik or our baby of the family got. He got 5A for his UPSR. I’m very grateful for that. After all the sacrifices mama had done for him akhirnya berbaloi. She may smile now. Dan aku pasti mama sangat lega dengan apa yang telah chik capai. As the younger one he has been brought up with full of love of course more than anyone else. It is not that we are jealous to him but we were all known and understood he is the baby and no one want to compete with him. He may get all the attention he want from everyone, papa, mama, me as the eldest sister, adik (the kak ngah), abang (the third one) because he is the one and only the little one in the family. Sometime I feel that we might spoil him but what can we do the love sometime make us feel that he may get whatever he want. But thank God that he is not that spoils. He is close with us and he knows his aim. And now the time has come when he will live the nest, he want to go to the hostel which I really hope that he will get the place at the school he wanted very much ( since they started to built the school he already tell us that he want to go the school). Know that he has a very high determination as his sister all I can do is only pray and hope for eh best for him.

And now it is all about the happiness for mama. Setiap kali anak-anak akan ambil major examination such as UPSR, PMR and SPM, mama is the one who will be very anxious and nervous. Yes, it is the truth. Mama yang akan beria-ia cari tuisyen yang bagus-bagus especially at the end of the year before we enter the new semester the year of the major examination. Mama will always do the best for her children. Thank to mama, that now I am here. Mama sanggup tolak ke tepi waktu rehat and waktu cuti semata-mata sebab anak-anak ada kelas tambahan, and as a teacher she is willing to go to school during the holiday just to give some extra class for her students. I think her never as for any reply all the things she done is just sincere form her heart. And I guess because of that Allah had helped her children to achieve good result. Masih lagi aku ingat as the eldest one, when the first time her children (which is me) sat for the major examination, she wake up very early from usually schedule to cook good breakfast. She also make hajat prayer and recite surah Yasin. tapi akhirnya aku sendiri menghampakan mama, I did not achive the expectation. I hurt me a lot and I guess it hurt mama too. And then after that I know mama never put too high expectation for us. When adik sat for UPSR, aku tak pernah tahu apa perasaan mama, tapi mungkin juga it is adik then she may expect more than me, And of course adik make mama smile, she got 5A and abang, mama tak terlalu mengharap sebab mama tahu kemampuan anak-anak dia. Result Abang pun sebenarnya agak mengecewakan mama. But she knows it is Him who determines this matter and everything happen for reasons.

Masuk ke PMR, result keluar waktu tu tok sakit tenat dan aku tak ambil pun result sendiri. Pak teh yang tolong ambilkan. Alhamdulillah, the result is unexpected. She smiles and I feel that I already make it up for the UPSR result that is not so good. With 8A in my hand I feel that I have make mama happy and yes I do. That night I heard mama tell papa that she never expect me to get that high. Syukur padaNya. Aku dapat hadiakan kegembiraan itu pada mama. And for my SPM, apa yang menyedihkan mama tak ada sekali waktu aku ambil result. Although I am one of the best students, which I know when I went to schools to collect my result and saw my name on the announcement board ( walaupun tak la baik mana pun result tu, tapi kat situ aku antara yang baik) hati tetap juga berduka cita. I am very disappointed because I think the happiness is not the same with her around. Only with the phone call, I can see her smile again and know that she is really happy with the news. Mama, I know that you don’t want anything form us but the successful make you smile and feel proud of us.

Dari apa yang aku dah observe, aku tahu dan aku sangat maklum kejayaan anak-anak membuatkan mama tersenyum panjang. Walaupun mama jarang bercerita tentang anak-anak kecuali bila di tanya, aku tahu jauh di sudut hati mama dia puas hati dengan apa yang anak-anak di adah dapat. Dia rasa gembira dengan apa yang kami berikan pada dia. Mama puas hati dengan apa yang kami dah capai buat masa sekarang. Tak perlu nak berikan barangyang mahal-mahal untuk mama Cuma perlu hadiahkan satu keputusan yang cemerlang dia dah cukup puas. Aku sangat sedar dan sangat maklum, sebab setiap kali aku tunjuk result semester yang ok, mama will always smile and aku tahu mana satu senyuman kecewa dan senyuman gembira. Buat masa sekarang aku tahu cuma waktu aku ambil result UPSR mama senyum dalam kekecewaan. I don’t mean to hurt her but I know things happen with the reason and until now I still believe it because without the result I got during the UPSR I am not who I am today. Aku berharap lepas ni aku masih dapat buat mama tersenym dengan penuh bangga tengok result aku dan adik-adik. Ibu mana tak happy tengok anak-anak berjaya. Mama adalah sumber pembakar semangat untuk aka terus berjaya sebab senyuman mama itu banyak maksudnya. Aku hanya ingin tengok senyuman mama yang buat aku juga tersenyum. Kawan-kawan senyuman itu ada banyak maksudnya sebab seorang ibu tak akan pernah tunjk kekecewaan dekat anak-anak so pandai-pandai la kita buat ibu kita tersenyum hanya dengan satu sebab because of the happiness.

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