Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dia sudah pergi jauh dari aku!

Baru berapa hari dia pergi hati ini terasa sepi dan kosong. Masih lagi aku merasa dia berada di sisi. Hampir sebulan lebih bersama bayangnya sentiasa menerpa. Walau dia tak banyak bicara namun kenyataan yang dia tiada di sisi sungguh menyebabkan aku rasa kosong. Jelas kini aku tahu dia tiada, kesunyian itu seakan menghantui setiap benakku. Seolah terbayang wajahnya berdiri di muka pintu memanggil namaku. Seolah masih lagi baru  gurauanya mengisi hariku. Terasa sepi malamku tanpa wajahnya. Walau ada mereka yang lain di sisiku tetap tidak sama dengan dia yang jauh di sana. 

rindu manusia ini yang sekarang di Kelantan!

Rindu dekat abang. Baru berapa hari ni, terasa macam sunyi padahal abang bukan jenis yang banyak bercakap. Kata mama rasa sunyi walaupun waktu cuti ni abang bukan selalu pun ada kat rumah. Tapi yang bila sesuatu menjadi rutin kita mudah merasa rindu. Dulu aku sorang-sorang dekat rumah, bila abang balik aku rasa suka sebab ada orang nak cakap dengan aku. Ada orang yang boleh aku sakat dan kacau. Boleh juga tumpang bermanja. Tapi abang dah kena sambung balik belajar. Tinggal kami dekat rumah. Kalau aku rasa sunyi, cik mesti rasa lagi sunyi. Dah tak ada orang nak main game dengan dia, dah tak ada orang nak lawan bergaduh. Aku suka bila semua adik-adik ada di rumah. Sekarang rumah rasa penuh, walau sorang dah terpaksa balik asrama. Apa akan jadi bila semua dah kena balik asrama. Cik balik asrama, adik balik rumah sewa, tinggal lagi aku sorang-sorang dekat rumah. Lagi sunyi, lagi sepi. 

dua manusia yang masih ada dekat rumah sampai bulan 12

Selalunya bila abang ada, balik kerja dia akan masuk dapur, tengok apa yang mama masak, atau buka peti ais cari coklat. Kadang-kadang abang balik makan, ajak aku makan sekali. Sekarang aku makan sorang-sorang, walau ada adik dan cik. Malam-malam selalu dengar suara abang dengan cik lawan bola, kadang-kadang abang sekali tengok cerita Korea dengan aku. Walau pun abang keluar rumah sebab belajar ketiadaan abang membuatkan aku rasa kehilangan. Macam adik- adik yang lain juga bila tak ada kat rumah aku jadi sunyi. Masih ada sebulan sebelum sekolah mula. Aku mula fikir, apa akan jadi kepada aku yang masih lagi tak ada kerja. Dulu memang rasa seronok duduk rumah sorang-sorang, sebab aku dah terbiasa, tapi aku dah biasakan diri dengan adanya adik-adik di sekeliling aku. 

Kadang-kadang aku harap masa terhenti seketika. Aku ingin kami bersama, saat ini, kerana aku rasa saat ini saat paling bahagia aku dalam hidup. Satu hari nanti aku tahu semua pasti pergi jauh dari rumah, tapi saat ini aku ingin kami bersama, selagi boleh, aku ingin kami terus begini. Aku tahu kebahagiaan ini pasti akan di rindui tapi sekarang aku hanya ingin mereka-mereka yang tersayang terus bersama aku, terus berada di sekeliling aku. 

  

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Miracle within us.


Yesterday, I watched House season 8 and I was amazed by what they had showed. Through the episode, they were trying to save lung before giving it to someone. They got the lung from a young teenager who was involved in an accident and he was burn badly. That was surely a unique case, even the doctors never save only lung.

They put the lung in a box and support it with various systems with many different of machine to maintain the lung to make sure it alive and can be given to the receiver. But the problem was that the lung was not healthy to be transferred to the receiver. So, the doctors were trying their best to save the lung.

But it is not the things that made me amazed; in medical situation they can do anything with the advancement of technologies. The lung was put in a box and surrounded with a lot of machine just to make sure it can function normally as it functioning in our body. Something pop out from my head, how does it works it our body.

Outside the body, it need many, various and different machine to support it, so how can it function in our body. Surely, Allah had design us as a perfect human being. HE had design us so that we can function systematically. With a limited  space in our body HE can put all needed machine together so that we can function perfectly and we also do not need any other help from outside. Isn't it amazing?

I really feel thankful and grateful towards HIM. HE is the ultimate power who created this whole universe, with perfection because HE who knows everything happens in the universe. HE who makes it happens for reasons. Be thankful, be grateful, always remember HIM and always do our obligation toward HIM. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Annoyed!!!

Today, is an annoying day! All of the things happen around me is annoying. I don't bother others to make me happy, but others keep coming to make me annoyed. Starting from the night before, and it has continue with this early morning, this evening and who knows what will happen this night. People should stop being exaggerate when doing something or when dealing with something. I hate it when people put some burden on me when I am not the one who actually need to shoulder it. Do I need to meddle in everything other do? Sometime I want to just lay low and not concern about others matter, it's just me and my world. But sometimes the situation around me has always force me to meddle with it. Sometimes I wish that I I can focus only on me. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

A person, just like a mother...

I've been living in this world for about 24 years, for this whole years I know there are my family who love me very much, but in spite of that there are also some other people who love me unconditionally. She's a person whom I can also call a mother. She is the one who care for me like my mother care for me. She has been standing behind me for this whole 24 years. Before this I know that she care for me very much, but lately I feel the love that has been spread for me from her. She's the one and only my auntie, "mak ngah" my mama little sister. 

Mama once say to me,"One day, if I already gone, don't ever forget about your mak ngah", of course, she will always be in my mind. I think when I was very young she took care of me for some time, at that time she was just getting married with my pak ngah. Even before she got married she had taken care of me. Mama always tell me some stories about me and mak ngah when I was a little girl. She is just like my mother. When ever she knows that we are going back to kampung, she'll cook delicious food for us.

She is the one who has replace tok's place at the kampung. She'll cook something special for us, just like tok. I love going back to the kampung because I know there will be someone who will treat me good and make me feel that I am loved by her. Moist chocolate cake, laksa, doughnut, lepat pisang, agar-agar, ketupat, rendang and so many things will be prepared by her just for he niece and nephew. Although I don't have so many aunt and uncle but I'm happy with just her. 

I don't care if other said that they have a lot of aunts and uncle, but as long as I have my mak ngah with me I don't want anyone else but her. She's just like a mother and I am close to her. She do not has any daughter so I can be one of her daughter. I love her just like I love my mother. The love she gave me is as warm as the mother's love. For me mak ngah is my second mother and she is one of my priority in my life. 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Graduated but not a job hunter...

Yes, I'm graduated and I'm jobless. I choose to be unemployed for this moment before resuming my work as a teacher maybe starting May, next year. Obviously I'm not  a job hunter, because I'm enjoying this moment doing nothing at home. I think this the best moment in my life. Compare to the convocation ceremony or at the time when I got my SPM result this is the best feeling ever. Unlike others who tend to find some part time job, I rather stay at home and pampering my self with this precious moment. In the future, I think I really need to work hard, so for now, it's the time for me to lay low and enjoy this leisure moment. 

Some may say, I need money that is why they are working as the part timer. Yes, I cannot deny the fact that money is something that drive person towards the works, but for me as long as I can eat and sleep, I'm happy with whatever it is. I know as the eldest sibling, I need to set some good example for my sister and brother but I'm thinking that this the time when I can spend some quality time at home with my family. Soon, I might be posted to some far places from my hometown, so this the time for me to enjoy my life as free as I am. 

I might need money to go for shopping and buy things that I want, but for now, I don't ever bother to go for some shopping. I do need money to go somewhere but mama has been my banker for sometime. Some people might say that I'm an irresponsible daughter for asking money from my mother when I can find my own pocket money at this age. But, I am not a person who simply ask money for some when I want something, I'm only asking when it is necessary and for mama it is not a burden. I am really grateful to mama for her understanding.  

Jobless is not a crime as long as you do not distress other. Don't ask for something you cannot afford and just you need to realize that you are unemployed. Spending money like you earn the money is totally wrong. If you are unemployed make others life easier by helping them with what ever you can, for me I'm helping my mama with the house  chores. So, as a jobless person, think wisely when you ask something from someone you might be a burden to him. Always remember although you are jobless you can still be a useful person.