I’m coping with the reality…

Tajuk entry memang tak boleh blah sungguh la. Kenapa? Why? Limaza? Well ni semua sebab satu kisah lama yang aku tiba-tiba bangkitkan dalam fikiran aku. I think it should be a history by now, but suddenly I feel that this not right so aku bangkitkan balik kenangan zaman muda-muda dulu yang sebenarnya hanyalah get my heart hurt at the serious stage. Sadis pula dengar ni. Tu la tak dak pasai nak cari pasai. Well konon-konon your are matured enough la tu. But now I know, it is not easy to heal your heart ( tapi betul ke I hurt you?). Cakap pasal hati dan perasaan la pula. Rupanya benda pasal hati dan perasaan ni bukan senang nak di rungkaikan, bukan senang nak di baca, bukan senang nak di telah. Walau macam mana pun sebagai seorang young adult aku kena terima, sebab aku dah janji dalam diri walau apa pun jadi aku kena accept it as it is. Dengan ini saya dah terima kenyataan bahawa antara kita memang tak akan ada apa-apa dah pun. Aku doakan hang akan sentiasa bahagia di kejauhan dengan seikhlas hati aku.

Buat dia yang aku pernah sakiti (masih juga aku fikir sapa yang lebih sakit),

Don’t get me wrong, bukan aku nak cakap apa pun, Cuma nak cakap aku memang betul-betul (sincerely) lupakan apa yang dah jadi antara kita tu. Kalau aku pernah emo dulu, memang la tak dak sapa yang tak emo or being sensitive when you said something like that. Aku bukan lagi WANI yang dulu. Banyak dah berubah walaupun sebenarnya masih ada yang tak pernah berubah tentang diri aku tapi aku rasa 50% of me has change for good. Dengan hidup hang sekarang I surely know you will never get back to me, but all the memories remain. Sorry sebab tak jadi kawan yang understanding buat hang, sorry sebab aku tak menjadi one of your supporters for this time being, sorry sebab aku adalah seorang yang terlalu sensitive. I never forget about our friendship (actually never) walaupun aku ada juga kawan-kawan yang baik dengan aku. Sesungguhnya bila aku dah jadi kawan dengan seseorang aku akan jadi kawan dengan dia selama-lamanya tu pun kalau dia sudi la. Dan akau rasa elok juga aku akhiri dengan warkah aku ni dengan kata MAAF yang sesungguhnya ikhlas dari hati, kerana aku ingin sebenarnya segalanya kembali seperti biasa, walau sukar aku tetap menanti. For you my dear friend harap-harap sentiasa berjaya dan berbahagia bersama dengan insane tersayang.

Apakah yang aku merepek malam-malam lewat macam ni. Well ni sebenarnya hasilnya bila baca surat-surat lama waktu sekolah dulu (I’m so traditional la). Bukan apa waktu tu, dia jauh, maklum la budak-budak tak dak duit nak top up and call, dia pula susah nak pi cc so, surat la penghubung kami. I miss that moment really much. Harap-harap dia baca, tapi tak kisah pun la, yang penting hati aku dah bersedia lepaskan semua kenangan kami ni walau pun dia never get back to me. (0118 am)

Who is your hero?

Back then when I was about eight or maybe ten, I had a dream to be one of the SAILOR MOONS. One of the reasons was that they had a very cute dress or the uniform the one they wore when they had the fight with the evil one .a Part from that they were also beautiful. I really want to be like them and really adore them. I can still remember that sailor moon series was aired at 9 on Sunday morning. I rarely can watch it because I had school to attend, but if I had some reason for not going to school I will never miss. During the school holiday this was one of the program that I will never miss except for some reason for example if I was going back to my hometown or perhaps we were having our breakfast at the stall. With the colorful dress and maybe I think they were also cute and of course I liked the only hero in the story (the man who was wearing the black tuxedo with the mask) I thought that he was really handsome. I want to have someone like him too in my life. This series had a very big impact on me when I was a child.

With the change of time, I begin to like CARDCAPYOR SAKURA. I really like the cute and adorable Sakura, Syaoran Li and Sakura card guardian, Yukito (whom Sakura had a crushed on him). I think I watched this on the Saturday morning at NTV7. Of course the characters make me like it more. Now I kept to myself the collection of Sakura and Syaoran picture in my laptop and not to forget Yukito with his white wings just to remember my childhood. Being a child was so much fun.

Now, today, as a 23 years old young lady, I still like SAILOR MOON AND SAKURA so much. Now, NTV7 has show back the SAILOR MOON series, but it was not the one I had watched during my childhood, however I still sit in front the TV and really excited to watch it. One of my aims now is to buy the SAILOR MOON series.

There are many reasons for me to keep liking this cartoon series. It is not an ordinary series because it contains a lot of my memories in it, whether it was the bad one and also the good one. When I was a child I like the series because it was cute and now I really want to one of the sailor moons. I want to be a hero. That sound really absurd but that is my dream to be a hero. I will always imagine myself doing something that might help people everywhere ad anywhere I go. As possible as I can, I want to protect people from any harm especially my love one. I think that is a noble dream. Furthermore, the SAILOR MOONS, has giving me a very good impression of the relationship between friends. They had a good relationship with each other and of course they were willing to help each other in whatever situation happen. While in the real world, is there anyone can be like that, to sacrifice their life for their friends and also their enemy. Of course there were also some sense of romance in the series between the sailor moon and the Mamoro (tuxedo mask). Everyone likes to live life which full of love and everyone is also trying to find the true love. All of the theme that were portray in the series was just the one that is relate with our reality except for the person who can change to be a beautiful warrior to protect the earth. For me, the sailor moon (Usagi) has everything people wants in their life. I really want that too. That is why I never dislike SAILOR MOON.

(credit for picture: shiningmoon.com.pl)

The holiday is over (only for them)!!!!!

The school holiday was over for the past one week, adik just went back to IPOH for her class. Chik went back to his school (though it’s not that far from the house but still he’s not home). Abang is starting his school too. Mama and papa are back to the same schedule as a busy teacher and it left me alone at home. For me, the holiday has just started. There will be about 3 month for me to enjoy myself at HOME.

I thought that I will never have this kind of long holiday during the time I study at the university, luckily a year before my graduation; I have the change to have a very long holiday. I just got home a fort nigh ago, and had spend a very wonderful days at my sweet home with my lovely sister and brothers. We did not had and spend much time on special occasion or activities like others had done during their holiday, but still I enjoy being with them. I have been a very long time (I guess) for me to gather with my sibling like this. Even watching movies together can be fun activities. Waiting in front of the laptop just to watch the Korean series with them make me feel happy because I can share my interest with them. It was kind of funny that we have been watching the Korean series that I thought that they will never like.

Mama said that I had influenced them to be just like me. Well cannot help myself to fall in love with all the Korean series, because they had the cute and smart guy in the stories. And of course it just not the same with our Malay series. Even though the theme of the story is just the same which is LOVE but still the way of the presentation and story line is not the same and it is not the same compare with other series and plus the view is beautiful (cause in my dream I am dreaming of staying at the place like had been portrait in the series and really want to touch the snow with my hands and the beautiful flowers).

I had been a secretary for my little brother (Chik and Abang) doing their home work. I had done with the assignment (the family history) for Chik, that I had done it ten years ago. But children nowadays are very lucky because they have all the technology to help them with their work. For example the computer and of course the internet the most referred source for the assignment (including me=)), they did not need to go to the library anymore to get a little information for their assignment. I had thought about something, I guess that the school systems had never change since I had left the school for about 5 years ago because my 13 years old brother is still doing the same assignment as I am doing ten years ago. This is something need to be ponder, maybe I can change it when I am the minister of education (huhuhu when will the time come??). The unexpected thing was that I am had helped with the art homework. Shall I praise myself for doing the art work? I never did my art work unless it was a classroom work and now I doing it for my little brother.

What else I can do to fill up my schedule as a very free person for now. I have a plan to improve my English but I am just too lazy to start with the plan. It’s holiday of course and I should not think anything about my study isn’t it? Next semester will be my last semester to really study and the last semester is my real battle to face with the reality of the career. Not sure if I can be ready by that time. Enough for now, if I keep babbling about what will happen in the future I will never reach an end. I hope that my life will be getting better and better day by day. For my adik, abang and chik selamat belajar. Belajaq rajin-rajin!!!!!