I shouldn't be like that, standing in front of the students and stuttering words like I know nothing about the subject matter. Maybe I should write down some text so that I will not lost in the class. Sometimes, I think that I can teach this students fluently without preparing any notes or text but actually I am too nervous to teach with empty hand. I should really prepare everything before I enter the class. Students should see me a weak person who cannot teach them properly. They might lost their interest and confident in the teacher.
Maybe I should really study hard to improve my English. I'm losing my confident facing with the students who was just coming back from the overseas. With their slang and language, I cannot stop thinking that they may talk behind me saying that I am very bad in English.
I know I have that knowledge to teach them but when I'm not prepared I can lost my sense and embarrassed myself. I should be a hardworking teacher, but I am easily distracted with many things. I cannot focus on my study and cannot perform well. I'm sure if I was observed today, I will be failed by the lecture.
Stuttered, mumbled, distracted and all of those things happen to me. I'm sure I can do well, so I just need to gain back my confident and be a good teacher like before. They might be good at English but I am their teacher and I should be able to control them and learn from them. It is not wrong if I can learn from them. I should never stop learning and gaining more experiences, while I'm teaching. Insyaallah with my determination I can be a better teacher and help my students to excel in their study.
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