friendship????

Dan hari ini,
Aku menyelak lembaran sejarah,
Pada detik setiap pertemuan,
Pada detik sebuah keramahan dan manisnya kenangan,
Aku tak mampu lagi,
Membendung air mata pada sebuah kehilangan,
Antara kita yang terpisah,
Tinggal hanya serpihan hakikat,
Yang menyakitkan yang menghanyutkan,
Pada sebuah cerita duka,
Menunggu akan hadirnya sebuah harapan,
Untuk kita terus saja bersama,
Menggenggam erat sebuah persahabatan itu

This is one of a poem that I had written about my friendship one of my best friend or close friend or maybe best buddy. I don’t know how to classify this friendship because she already make me hurt. The worst thing about this one is that she said that she will easily get bored with our friendship. I don’t know why I have this kind of relationship. It is really weird when you say that you are feeling like this with your friend. For me best friend should not be like this because no matter happen we should be the one who will be by her side when she needs us. But when she says that she’ll get bored with me and will get rid of me for some time because she will find some time to rethink about our friendship. I rather be alone and don’t have any friend if it will only hurt my feeling and make me sad.

Now that I am home, I am super happy although we are not spending our time sitting together but at least went I wake up I know that there are someone care for me. I just can’t wait to have my own family. I want to make it up, about things that I can’t get in my life as a child in this house. I don’t want my children to have lack of love and attention. I don’t know if I can make it, but I’ll try my best to not to abandon and ignore my children. What a beautiful dreams. I know it’s hard but it’s not something impossible. But don’t know when I will have my own family. Ok I think that is enough for today I will have a lot of time to babble during this holiday.

Sedar tak sedar dah masuk bulan rejab dah. Lagi dua bulan je nak sambut ramadhan. Macam tak percaya, time flies without we all realize what had we left behind. Kalau ikut keazaman, nak puasa bulan rejab and syaaban full. Tapi bila dah cuti tu, parah la juga kalau nak puasa. Kenapa? sebab dekat rumah boleh makan sedap-sedap. fikirkan pasal duniawi memang la, kat syurga nanti makanan lagi sedapkan? hahaha. Tahu je semua tu tapi gratification tak dapat nak di elakkan. tapi selagi boleh akan cuba la puasa sebanyak yang boleh. bak kata orang biarlah hari ini lebih baik dari semalam.

dah nak exam hari ahad ni, kiranya tinggal esok ja boleh study. tapi dah malas nak study dah. fikiran saya sudah sampai ke rumah sana. tiba-tiba hari terasa ada kuasa yang menyuruh aku menghabiskan cerpen yang tak macam cerpen sangat tu. dan akhirnya tamat juga. happy!. dah ada 3 story yang siap, hanya untuk simpanan sendiri. buat untuk kepuasan sendiri ja. or dalam kata lain syok sendiri. yang tu saja hobi.

short semester dah sampai di penghujung, dan dah dapat banyak kenangan. rasa puas juga walau pun objective sebenar short sem tak sampai, nak lesen kereta, tapi tak pa tak lari gunung di kejar. aku akan terus menanti. my memories with this short sem will never be forgot...

bunga-bunga di hati Waniy

Suddenly, I feel in love with a song by Azzam in Idola Kecil. I don’t know the reason for loving this song, but I have listened for this song for hundred times but I never get bored with it. Maybe his sweet voice makes me like that song very much. I’m not the supporters for this program, but I like him really much. Know what, I think that at this age they should be encouraged to finish their study first before involving in this field. Maybe I’ll be having my presentation today, but I don’t know if I’m ready or not. I don’t have the spirit to make it interesting. I know the exam will be coming so soon but I am not done with my revision yet. I’m too lazy to open any of the books although the book is not that thick as the other book. I don’t feel that exam fever yet, but in the just maybe one or two day I’ll be having that sense of feeling because some of my roommate will be having their examination just around the corner but no me.
Sekarang ni, Cik Waniy tengah di landa virus jiwang. Tengah melayan cerita LAGENDA BUDAK SETAN. Ceritanya boleh la,tapi maybe sebab hati ini dah selalu sangat menangis dan merasa kecewa sampai tak rasa nak menangis pun while watching that movie. but that movie memang la boleh menyentuh jiwa. tapi yang pentingnya in the reality is there any person like that Kasyah.Tapi, sekarang ni sangat suka dengar lagu tema that movie. Bila cinta from both female and male version. Bunga-bunga jiwang sedang berkembang. Bahagia sangat sebab tadi baru dapat tahu, dapat maybe one of the highest mark in the class for the assignment. 18.5 over 20. Can’t stop smiling right now bak kata Ian dekat Saki. Ian deserves that mark. Terasa mau pula dekat dia. I’m sorry, Ian, feel that I’m not helping in achieving the high score. Apa pun kena start study from now on to get the flying color.

a dream come true...

I had done something that I never done before. I don’t know if I will do it again. But it’s fun. I’ve got to add my new memory. With them something that is looking impossible is possible. What a good day. Starting with the bbq party at Ben’s house, then a midnight movie and then up to Genting Highland. If you know Waniy Safri well, she will never do that things but with her friends, there she are waiting for the sunset. It is a wonderful view up there. At last, my dream comes true. Berjaya juga sampai ke Genting, walau pun tak di rancang. Thank you Aliya. Selama ni susah sangat nak ajak orang temankan? Ambik kau, pukul 4 pagi naik ke Genting. Rasa sangat puas hati. Semua orang asyik bagi alasan ye. Tapi kalau pergi dengan orang lain tak pe la pula. Puas hati. Scenery cantik sangat waktu pagi-pagi macam tue. Boleh nampak KL dari atas sana. Subhanallah. Indahnya ciptaan Allah. Suasana yang sejuk tu pun best sangat. Biasa la orang first time naik Genting semua benda pun best. I’m wondering apa la orang yang duduk kat Genting tue rasa. Mesti dah tak teruja like me. Nasib juga la mama is so sporting. Tapi nak kata pa dah, dah naik and dah turun dah pun baru cakap dekat dia. Nak tunggu papa bawa???? Tak merasa la saya. It’s school holiday, apa ja la yang budak-budak tu wat kat umah. Tak sabar nak tunggu cuti. Nak duduk kat rumah, nak kata nak cover tidur tu, tak la kot, tapi it’s better for me to stay at home rather to stay here doing nothing but sometime I feel better staying here because I can go where ever I want whenever I like. But that is what, home is cal sweet because how better and comfortable your staying at other place than your house you will always miss your house cause it’s not only house but a home.

trial in my life...

I think I am a lady with a few words when it comes to the person I don’t know. I am not the one that is really friendly and can talk whatever topic with a person I barely know and a person that I just meet for 5 minutes. It is hard for me to be very close to a person but once I know them I will be very friendly and kind to them. Sometime people will always have their own impression on me, know that I am a lady that is not easy to smile, and my face look fierce, and they’ll say that I am an arrogant person. But that is the nature of me. I always want to change but it is very hard that every time I try to be friendly to a person I just know that the person will not talk to me back, and then it is the end for my intention to change. At the end I’ll become the old Waniy.

Masih juga masalah nan satu ni tak settle. Betapa terbebannya kepala otak ni. Kenapa? Aku sendiri tak boleh nak bagi jawapan. Walaupun masalah kecil, bila lagi satu pihak macam tak nak bagi kerjasama so this problem will not smoothly settle down. Apa la, tolong la jadi professional sikit. Dah penat dah nak tunggu semua ni settle, and sekarang saya dah tak nak susah-susah fikir. Kalau nak settle nanti settle sendiri la kot.

"فَٱصْبِرْ إِنَّ وَعْدَ ٱللَّهِ حَقٌّۭ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لِذَنۢبِكَ وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلْعَشِىِّ وَٱلْإِبْكَرِ => Maka bersabarlah kamu, karena sesungguhnya janji Allah itu benar, dan mohonlah ampunan untuk dosamu dan bertasbihlah seraya memuji Tuhanmu pada waktu petang dan pagi." (QS. AL MU'MIN:55)

This verse helps me a lot in dealing with my personal life for now. I need to be really patient because it is actually just a small matter. But it is easy to be said than done. The theory part is the easiest one but when it comes to the practical part you will never know what will happen in the end. *sigh* Sometime we can do something unreliable when we think irrationally.

i want a new start

It's has been a long time, I didn't update anything in this blog. why???
I don't even have the answers for this. Maybe because I'm to busy with my life as a student. But I want to start again because i think i need it. I don't know why but I really need it. maybe I can't say that I feel that I need a medium to voice out all of the thing that always floating in my mind. Weird!!! I am a weird person. If some people need to talk to someone else to untie all the things in their mind, but I don't work for me I'm not that kind of person. When it come to communication with person, I'm bad at it. But I think I am good at writing down my feeling. So here I am. feeling that I am all alone here (not at my home) that is the strong reason for me to write again. That is why, I will not have any update when I am at home. Since, I am at my hostel and I don't know what else can I do, so i think it is the best opportunity to continue to write and just say the things that I want without hurting others feeling.

Semester pendek yang penuh dengan KEJUTAN

Semalam, saya menerima dua berita yang menyedihkan. Berita pertama yang saya terima di pagi hari ketika saya berada di dalam kelas. Bapa kepada seorang sahabat saya telah meninggal dunia. Innalillah… sedih. Al- Fatihah buat arwah. Sahabat saya ini saya kenali ketika saya berada di PJ. Kami sebilik sewaktu semester pertama dan kedua. Kami agak rapat. Takziah untuk sahabat saya. Semoga bersabar dengan apa yang dihadapi. Berita kedua saya terima lebih kurang pukul 8 malam. Pensyarah saya berada di ICU, dengan keadaan yang agak kritikal. Ya Allah, saya terlalu terkejut, kerana seingat saya, saya baru saja berjumpa dengan beliau. Saya doakan kesejahteraan buat pensyarah saya ini. Dr Zainurin, orangnya selamba dan senang untuk dibawa berbincang. Saya senang belajar dengan beliau. Pada tanggapan saya usianya tidaklah terlalu tua, tapi segalanya adalah ketentuanNYA. Kita hanya menghadapi apa yang telah tertulis. Semester ini hampir sampai ke penghujung namun banyak yang saya lalui selama tempoh itu. Banyak yang menguji, saya mengharapkan agar beroleh kekuatan setelah banyak melalui ujian.