Is there anyone outside there can understand my feeling???

I’m trying to find someone who may understand the feeling that I feel just now. I never am a bad student before and this is the first time I fail to be one. I don’t know the reason behind this but deep in my heart I cannot describe it. I just want to be the best not the one who had to have extra care because the weaknesses within me. I’m not that kind of person and I cannot accept it. I don’t know if this one of the “mental problem” but this is one thing that I realize I have it in my heart since at secondary school. I know it begun with a sad, memorable story, but I don’t realize that it give me some bad impact for such a long term time. I don’t the effort that I can do to help me in this problem. I know no one will ever know my weakness like this but being a loser is making me losing all the hope, the confident that I build in me. What a waste? I never know that the feeling of failing will haunted me like this. I need to overcome this problem before it makes me feel worse. FAILING! FAILING! FAILING! Once it appear in my mind I feel like I want to throw myself in very dark cave and just hide inside that so that no one will know that I’m a failure. This thing really makes me feel sick. It is really hurt me because when I put my full heart and effort in that thing and then I fail to achieve my target it makes me feel that I am really a loser, failure. I know I need to think positively but the thing is that when you start to think bad about it, it will be very hard to change or to make it as a good one? It needs someone who understands you well and helps you to go through with this and make you feel better. But the fact that I don’t have anyone to share and comfort me makes my life look really bad and difficult enough. Maybe I just need someone to be with me and tell me that I’m not that bad and here I am will be back as the strong, passionate, positive and confident Ms Syazwani. But all around my life, at this moment, I don’t have anyone like that. Who can cheer me up and the one that would tell me that I’m the best thing that he or she had ever have. Just like in my favorite Korean drama, BOYS OVER FLOWER, there will be always Yoon Ji Ho for Geum Jan Di when Gu Jun Pyo not there to comfort her. Maybe I don’t need a lover by my side, maybe what I need is just someone that may understand my feeling and share all the things that I always keep in my heart. A VERY CLOSE FRIEND WOULD BE FINE TO ACCOMPANY ME ON MY PATH. I feel bad right now and even the writing does not work today. But for now I do understand my feeling, I need to loosen it up so that I will feel less tense and may ponder all about this thing because this is not all about my life I do have a lot of things that I need to focus on maybe need to just forget this all of the sudden so that I will not get distract by this.